Back to the Bay

I have to say this because it's what I've been telling everyone lately: I'm soooo tired! I don't know what is wrong with me but I've been tooo tired! I think it's because I drove from Arkansas to California but that was weeks ago! I should feel better by now. Anyways, I've gotten my grades. I'm proud to say that I hit a 3.0! Mostly Bs, One A...and an extremely ugly D (I'm too embarrassed to speak on which class I got this grade in because its ridiculous). Next semester, I'm doing for a 3.5. That means no Ds or Cs and an allowance of only one B. I know I can do it so I'm actually anxious to get back to school. Crazy, huh? Miss I-hate-school is ready to go back!

Today is X-Mas eve. Ohhh, how I hate the holidays. But I wish you all a very merry X-Mas and a beautiful New Year!

Home

I'm going home next week. Home as in Oakland, CA. However, I'm not 100% on an exact address. I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. I don't want to be some poor kid who was a victim of the system and fell through cracks. I don't want to blame anyone for how my life was or is. I want to be regular LoL. I know that sounds dumb but it's the truth. I just want to be like everyone else sometimes. Well, all the time. I listen to my friends here at PSC (PANTHERZ!) and they're not stressing over who they'll be staying with for X-Mas break. I wish I could say the same for me.

I say this fully realizing the blessings I've received, most in part because of the way I was raised. Scholarships, publications, ect. I thank God daily for all that I have. Especially because I know so many who were raised like me OR WORSE who have not only fallen through the cracks but don't know how to get back up. I'm grateful for all that I have but I can't help it but to want the same thing that I've prayed for since I was a little girl: ........

ON A BRIGHTER NOTE: The end is near! Finals are this week! I'm very confident about my grades. Maybe even cocky. After I'm done typing this, I'm going to begin studying for my Afr Am History and World Masterpieces course. I'm going to shoot for a B average. Next semester, ALL A's (and I aint talking about the Athletics. GO OAKLAND!)

A survey

I'm not a serious person. Well I am but not all the time. I'm really goofy and I love to laugh. I stay in my dorm room, laughing out loud while watching Jamie Foxx stand ups and shows. So I figure, I'll throw in something different. Give a more holistic view of me

Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet?
Christian Answer: Of course not

How do you flush the toilet in public?
I don't believe I use public restrooms..if that's the question

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
Legal Answer: Of course

Do you have a crush on someone?
I did a few weeks ago...now I don't (Thank God)

Name one thing you worry about running out of.
Eyelashes

What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble?
Sade Daniels.

What is your favorite pizza topping?
Pepperoni & Pinnapples

Do you crack your knuckles?
Not usuallly

What song do you hate the most
Anything by any southern rapper including Lil Wayne

Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head?
No, I have an IPOD so no song gets stuck

What are your super powers?
Hmmm, I can talk my way out of most situations

Peppermint or spearmint?
They aren't the same?

Where are your car keys?
3 Ft within the clothes on my closet floor

Whose answers to this questionnaire do you want to hear?
?????????????

What's your most annoying habit?
I sing everywhere and I truly believe I have vocal talent LOLOL...I can't help it

Where did you last go on vacation?
Hmmm...Atlanta..Booo

What is your best physical feature?
Hmmm..I got cute toes LoL

What CD is closest to you right now?
I'm too high tech for CDs..I do have Jennifer Hudson's new CD in my car though

What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator?
Old Cheese Dip, Strawberry Jam (seedless! very important), and some Dasani water

What superstition do you believe/practice?
Split Poles

What color are your bed sheets?
Beige

Would you rather be a fish or a bird?
A Bird..I can swim now (kinda) but I can't fly! (W/O paying a few thousand $$)

Do you talk on your cell phone when you drive?
Legal Answer: Of course not : )

What are your favorite sayings?
'Aint this about a B-I-T-O-L'

What song(s) do you sing most often in the shower?
Anything by Anita Baker LoL

If you could go back or forward in time,where would you go?
1920s baby! Harlem Renaissance

What is your favorite Harrison Ford movie?
Ummm, The Matrix?

What CD is in your stereo?
No Stereo

What CD will be in your stereo in a few minutes?
Again, No Stereo

How many kids do you plan on having?
1 at the most..I don't like kids so I probably won't like my own too much

If you could kiss anyone who would it be?
Will Smith or Denzel Washington

What do you do when no one is watching?
DANCE DANCE DANCE!

If they made a movie about your life, what actor/actress would be you?
Hmmm, Angela Bassett! She'd kill it!

Would you rather die in a blaze of glory or peacefully in your sleep?
Bump Glory! Peace is it!

Coffee or Tea
Both give me a headache

Favorite musician(s)/bands you've seen in concert?
Hmmm, no one.

Have you ever been in love?
Nope

Do you talk to yourself?
Psych Answer: Of course not

Holiday Blues

I hate the holidays.

.....however, I still wish you all joy and blessings during this season and beyond.

A nerd with a dislike for school

I learned to read when I was really young. My uncle used to watch Hooked on Phonics and I would watch it with him. One day, it just started making sense. A makes an aaah sound LoL. Like apple. I still remember the tapes. Anyways, books have always been a huge part of me. In fact, they're like my parents. I didn't have people teaching me right from wrong or about puberty stages or the birds and the bees (I still don't understand that analogy...do birds and bees have...never mind) so I read about it.

When I was 8 and my Aunt was diagnosed with AIDS, I read several books about it to learn what it was and if my Aunt could survive. Those books led me to reading books about sex, different types of drugs, and dealing with death. When I was labeled 'depressed', the first thing I did was run to a library and do research on it. Unfortunately, the research also introduced me to world of Self-Help books which I became slightly addicted to when I was 10. 'Be You Best You', '10 Steps To Success', 'How To Spot Liars', 'How To Win Friends (didn't work). I've read 'em all! Might sound crazy but I talked to these books and reading them was like them talking back. Giving me the advice that I wished an actual person would give.

I didn't just read books to learn. Once I discovered Auto/Biographies and fictions, there was never a time you would see me without my face being covered in some book. It was my escape. For 30 hours or 378 pages, I was no longer Sade. I was Dana from 'Kindred' or Tina in 'I, Tina' or Davey in 'Tiger Eyes' or Pecola in 'The Bluest Eye'. I was soo obsessed with books that if I'd read a bad one or one that had a wack ending (Nappily Ever After), I couldn't see it for months. Like, I'd get mad if I saw the cover on a store front or something. A true nerd.

I say all of this so that you'll know that I'm not dumb. I love to learn...but I've always hated school.

From the days of teachers and students making fun of my 'peculiar smell' to being jumped by over half of my schools population, I've never felt safe or comfortable at school. To this day, I don't know how I passed any of my classes from Elementary to High School. I barely learned anything. A teacher would introduce the term 'Division and Multiplication' and I would go to a library and find a book to tutor me on it. Same with english, history, and science.

It wasn't until my 11th grade year, that I was blessed with a teacher who actually taught. He showed me that no matter how much of a 'self-learner' I was, there was still much more to know that he could help me with. He was right. I knew who Dr. King was but not Malcolm X. I knew about some writers during the Harlem Renaissance but not Zora Hurston and had never read a Langston Hughes poem. Hell, I knew how to Divide but could barely Multiply (which is sad considering they both are dependent on each other). From the Romanticism periods in literature to the American Revolution, my teacher helped fill in small loops and whole blank pages of knowledge.

So, it should be no surprise that as a pupil of Mr. M, I went from a lackluster to honor roll. It's amazing what a little support and encouragement can do.

Now, I'm in college. Boooo. LoL. Naw, I won't lie. It's hard. I usually had Mr. M breathing down my neck, forcing me to do work or giving me some kind of 'you're better than this' talk. Now, I'm giving myself them talks on a daily basis. As stated, I plan to graduate Cum Laude from Philander Smith College. How? I have no clue! Well...ok, I have a slight plan.


The library will become my new living quarters. If I'm in my room, I REFUSE TO DO ANYTHING SCHOLASTIC! Because of this, I will not allow myself to be in my dorm room until after 6 p.m. How successful will this be? Again, I have no clue but it will be a start. Next semester, I will be taking one (maybe even two) of my science requirements. Double booo. One of the first things I'm going to do is set up a tutoring schedule with the Trio offices. I know that sometimes I need help and I plan to get it. The last thing I'm doing, starting immediately, is doing homework assignments the day they are assigned. My biggest problem is homework. I personally feel that homework is disrespectful. Why do teachers fill the need to interrupt our home time? Why can't everything be done during class? Your reign over me ends once the clock strikes 3..well 4 now. However, the world doesn't know good logic when they see it so I have to adapt to this..this..homework belief. This will be my way of doing so. I figure, if I work on which ever assignment as soon as it's given, not only will it be one less assignment to worry about but I'll probably have an easier time completing it since it'll be fresh in my mind.

There are a lot of folks who are shocked I've made it this far. So, why not give them a heart attack and walk across the stage not only wearing my cap and gown but my high academic distinction around my neck (I say all that because I don't know what they call those scarf looking things)?

Are you in school? What helped you excel academically? What do you think of my 'game plan'? All tips and advice are welcomed.

The College Diet: An oxymoron

When I was in high school, I put myself on an extreme diet. I had read books about the South Beach Diet and the Atkins Diet, so I decided to combine certain elements of both. I reduced the amount of carbs I ate significantly during the day and stopped eating them after 6 pm. So I might have some wheat noodles during the day (which are considered good carbs) and then a sand which but that would be the only carbs I had that day and after 6 pm, I would have to stick with meats (which were usually baked or just cold cuts). I exercised 4 days a week (which consisted of a 45 minute speed walk on the treadmill and some crunches). My silly self didn't notice that I had lost weight until I went to a Macys and tried on some size 16 pants and couldn't keep them up (the really dumb part was that I as gonna buy the pants anyway until a light bulb came on and told me to try the size 14 and then ultimately the size 12 pair). I had lost 30 lbs in 4 months. I can't explain how proud I was of myself. Everything fit so much better and my face got a lot smaller.



Now, if we fast forward to my second year of college (and that lovely freshman 15 I picked up last year), we'd be in the present, where I tip the scale at 2** (a girl has got to have a few secrets). I'm finally ready to discipline myself back into shape. The main problem is that I'm a broke struggling college student that can't afford to eat healthy. There is no healthy food stores here in Arkansas anyways.

Now, my school has a salad bar that I constantly ignore. So from now on, it will be my new best friend. I have a gym membership that I'll be using 3 times a week: Monday, Wednesday & Friday. On Mondays I'll be focusing on my stomach. Wednesday will be my arm. Fridays will be my legs and glutes. On each day, I'll be doing an hour of some type of cardio coupled with the strength building. I'll try to find a way to incorporate what I've ate on most days in my blogs so I can do a self-check.

Are any of you all on a diet? What do you plan on doing? What's your goal? How do you keep yourself motivated?

A GOAL-Digger?

I'm a self-proclaimed goal-digger. What is that? It's someone who is constantly creating goals and achieving them. That's what I am. So...I'll start with just a few goals that I'm having and update them

Goal 1: Good Grades
I love to learn. I learned to read when I was a small child so my passion for learning was seeded in me early on. As a traditional student, I haven't always done my best. So one of my biggest long term goals will be to graduate Cumme Laude from PSC. This will not be easy my next post will be the 'Game Plan'. I'll be checking and posting my grades every semester.

Goal 2: Lose 60 lbs
I love food. Looooooooooooooove food. Spaghetti (although I can barely pronounce it), chicken, smoothies, you name it, I love it! I have to slow down though. I really want to be more healthy. I don't exercise as much as I want to, however, I'm a dancer at heart and I really want to get back into. I know that by losing weight I'll be able to control my asthma more and ultimately, become a better dance. I want to reach this goal by mid 2010 (but I'm hoping to get some results sooner of course).

Goal 3: Be more organized
I'm a major procrastinator. I don't know how and why I'm like this but it's beginning to be a huge problem. I want to become more organized and do things in a more timely manner. Having this skill would definitely help me with the two above! This will be a long term goal.

Goal 4: Growing hair to APL
This isn't a major goal but it is an important one. My hair is currently two inches past my neck and I want it to go a few inches past my shoulders. With the help of a few support sites (hairlicious, KISS, LHCF, BHCM..check my fave sites and links to see them), I hope to achieve this goal by September '09.