.....Perseverance

I've never been a quitter. It just has never been my style. I'd rather not start on a project at all then to quit in the middle of it. My time is far too precious for that (AND COULD BE USED FOR SLEEP!). We've only been FOUR months into the new year and for the bulk of it, I've been depressed. Depressed about school, grades, secret goal (lOL), money, Money, MONEY. However, even during this time, I've been feeling myself shifting. Even while in profound sadness, I keep trying. I don't give up. This time around, I persevered as if I had not a care in the world. ...............I guess what I'm trying to say is....I'm much stronger than I was before.


Anyways, I've got a JOB! YAY! It took forever but I have one now. The school semester is winding down and finals are right around the corner. I'm ready! I'm currently looking for apartments since I plan to stay off campus next semester. I know that I'm eligible for grants back home so that will definitely help with my start up costs.

All in all, I think I'm going to be ok.

Retro Blog Post

...This is old skoo....but just as relevent (if not more...)

Are babies the new trend amongst teenage girls? Have I been left outta the loop or something? Everywhere I go, I see girls I used to go to school with, rocking oversized abdominals like they're the revival of the high waist pants or something! I mean, I'm confused! When I was a lil shorty, I watched Lifetime network for guidance on how I was supposed to live (Some of ya'll might find this funny but I don't care...Lifetime and self-help books raised me to the be the woman I am now) and Lifetime stressed the importance of waiting to have babies. So I waited...but now, at 20...I'm feeling like maybe I need to follow the in-crowd or something.

I saw this young pregnant girl the other day on the bus and asked her 'Where did you get that from?' as I pointed to her extended stomach and she told me 'Ohhh grrrl, you can get it anywhere. They on sale'. So I went home and looked in the mirror and pretended to have 'one'... It was soooo exciting until I realized...what the hell happens once 'it' comes out? I mean, 'my eggo can't be preggo forever' (I love Juno). What happens when the most fashionable item of the season becomes the newest human addition to society? You see, the difference between high waist pants and babies are that one of them can be taken off. The other is there. Forever. Forcing us to trade in our dollars saved for style for $20 cans of Enfamil.

Earlier last year, I decided that leggings was a trend that just shouldn't have happened. I mean, come on! Leggings are meant to be worn in dance class and as pajamas! They aren't cute! So I don't wear them. So, as tempting as the new (if I can even call it new) pregnancy fad may be, I'll think I'll pass. Because I'll wear some neon pink, zebra-stripped, leather tights in public before I ever spend 20 bucks on some baby food.

-S.D.

So...

(sorry for the lack of posts...school is tearing me down! I'm still standing though...)

...I'm thinking about writing a book. Not an autobiography though. LoL...I can't stand that people know as much as they do about me. I want to write a fiction. A novel, I guess. What do ya'll think? Would I really be able to make money writing a book? (Hate to sound money-hungry but we are in a recession LoL) Would anyone read it? Once I finish it, then what? Do I slap on a title page, staple the pages together and sale them myself? SOOO MANY QUESTIONS...

In the meantime, check out some true goofyness

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/video/video.php?v=69152872789&ref=nf

Money...or lack thereof..

I'm completely broke. Not the kind where you just have to cut back on certain expenses. The kind of broke to where you can barely afford to pay respect LoL. I know I need to learn to manage my money better but I've never been good at it. Ever. I'm looking up some money managment material now and trying to internalize the lessons for it so next time I get some money, I won't be in this situation. My growing make-up and clothes obsession probably aint helping this situation either.

I'm currently looking for a part-time job. As a college student, I'm starting to see the effects of the economic recession we're in. I can't get a job ANYWHERE!

Midterms are this week. Pray for me, ya'll!

The Get-Ryte Plan..revised

ALRIGHT!! A sistah has been working out! Like seriously working out! I feel good too! Well...I would feel good if I didn't sneak in 4 peices of candy : (...BUT heeey! Who decided to leave a bag full of Valentine's Day candy in my car anyways? Anyways, I'm going back to the gym on Wednesday afternoon...maybe Thursday..definitely Friday. Today, after my 45 minute cardio (elyptical machine...I LOVE THAT THING!), I did some weight training working primarily on my stomach, legs, and glutes...I'm burning all over too. Loves it!

Anyways, my meals are very irregular here. I'm trying to eat healthy. I live in dorms though and have to eat Caf food. It's been hard!

UPDATE: I just ate THREE slices of pizza...alright. Since I'm playing games...I'm going to do a Jillian Michaels workout tape.

I have to lose this weight!

Goal #7 update (Good and Bad Hair)

Well, I've reached one of my goals for '09. I know I know...It's soo soon but like I said in the profile description...I'm makin' moves so ya need to keep up! Anyways, which goal have I reached only 1 month into the new year? Is it the have a better attitude goal? Of course not LoL. Make a 4.0 goal? Too soon to call it on that one. Is it the mystery goal? If only it was.... I've reached the GROW MY HAIR TO SHOULDER LEGNTH GOAL! THANK YOU THANK YOU...Please, there's no need for applause. LoL.. I know that this isn't my biggest goal but damnit, I'm ridiculously happy about it! Ya'll don't understand..my hair never grows! NEVA! And now, since I've taken a vow to take better care of my hair and it's paid off! YAY ME! Anyways, check the pix and below for the regimen.

Hi Haters

I'm on a little challenge with myself (and the Lord 8 ) to get a certain amount of homework done by midnight tonight so this will be brief. On tonight, I want to talk about the haters. Yes, the haters.

Now before, I begin my rant I must define what I feel a hater is. I believe that a hater is a person (or institution LoL) that wishes to block you from achieving your goals and reaching your fullest potential. That's what I think a hater is. I've been called a hater before. In fact, I was called a hater a few hours ago for asking a girl why does she let some dude call her out of her name. The guy called me a hater. Really, boo boo? I don't feel I'm a hater because I'm not trying to block anyone from succeeding. If anything, I wanted the girl to think critically about what she allows people to address her as.

Anyways, so.....I have haters. Not a lot here in Arkansas (I'm working on it LOL) but a whole heap of them back in California. Some used to be my close friends. When I began college last year at Clark Atlanta, I saw a vast difference in the way my friends back home treated me. All of a sudden, I was 'college girl who thought she was better than everybody'. Some of those 'friends' began to spread this before we even had any 'post-college' communication! Imagine that! Two months into my freshmen year and already I'm hearing a chorus of 'YOU'VE CHANGED, SADE!' My first X-Mas break was the worst! The only friends I had were college students themselves and even my family started treating me differently (not all of them..not even most...just a select few). What depressed me most was that a lot of the people who claimed that I 'was such a bad person now' were the people that I planned to help within the future working in the Child Welfare System. The people that knew what I went through and how I was raised (because they were raised the same way) now claimed that I had 'forgotten' where I came from.

So I address each claim: Do I think I'm better than anybody? No. Do I try to do the best in all that I attempt? Yes. If you don't understand the difference between the two...then that's your problem....Next, have I changed? HELLL YEAA! I mean, I've been gone for a year! You grow! That's naturally! If I came back after a year of college and was the same person I was before I left, then something wouldn't be right! I'm not the same person I was. If you can't understand that, then again...it sounds like a personal problem...Lastly, I've forgotten where I've come from....Lord, how I wish this were true! YEP! I said it! I wish I could forget! Why would I want to remember where I cam from? Would you like me to go down the list of reasons why I dont want to remember the past? It haunts me every damn day! I don't want to be associated with that part of my life. I deserved better than what I got.....However, I can't change the past...so I just wake up every morning and hope that it will get easier to deal with at some point. WHAT I have remembered is that there are 1000s of kids in Alameda County who were raised just like I was...and that there are 100,000s of them in the U.S. What I do remember is that they are the reasons that I am in college now. They are the ones I plan to help.

So to those friends, foes, associates and who knows...the 'eww she uglies' 'and hella lame' or the 'she hella fake and she done changed' ...to naysayers and raters..or to the professional game players...you have all been transformed to the category of HATERS!!!

I would ask for a speech but right now, I just can't be reached....Please try your call again.